By the time we rolled out of The Hard Rock Cafe in Piccadilly, we were channelling a mixture of Bruce Bogtrotter and Mr Creosote.
Not only had we completed the task of trying five different burgers (as sliders), but in the spirit of reviewing, we'd ordered a starter and a pudding that could have fed four.
To be clear, this American institution has generous American-sized portions and attentive American-style service.
It was my first visit to Hard Rock in 30 years but it's always been a beacon of good value.
And with its slogans of 'Be kind,' 'Love All Serve All' and Save The Planet, it still embodies the ethos of the duo who founded it.
Isaac Tigrett and Peter Morton, were two young Americans who in 1971 combined American food and rock ‘n’ roll amid London's world famous music scene.
Their restaurant in Old Park Lane was a place they hoped bankers and bakers could mingle, and from Eric Clapton's donation of a guitar to mark his seat sprang a now 88,000-strong collection of rock costumes and memorabilia.
For years it was the best place in London for authentic American burgers with the added bonus of browsing vintage album sleeves and personal items owned by your favourite stars on your way to the loo - I mean these guys own the original lyrics to Imagine and Madonna's Like A Virgin wedding dress.
As the phenomenon spread to 68 restaurants American tourists in London would flock to buy T-shirts and merch from the OG in Mayfair.
Now owned by the Seminole Tribe of Florida, they continue to offer authentic, quality American fayre and since 2019 have a second London restaurant right on Piccadilly Circus.
There you can get excited about costumes once worn by Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Charli XCX and David Bowie.
We kicked off with boneless chicken wings; tender meat in a crisp carapace with a zingy sweet and sour sauce and a nicely restrained blue cheese dip.
A portion was enough for two.
My strawberry daiquiri had arrived, a long, cool and refreshing glass of crushed ice, fruit and rum which turned out to be the perfect accompaniment to the burgers.
The cafes have live music - crowd pleasing classics - on our night, which lift the atmosphere in the bustling restaurant.
We were here to try the World Burger Tour which were developed as a competition by different Hard Rock Cafes around the globe.
The five include the spicy Bengaluru Burger from India which comes with a black bean corn salsa, roasted jalapeno, 7 oz steak burger, sweet and spicy pickled mayo, and guacamole which, along with the beans, made everything a little too mushy.
The Bucharest Burger from Romania was a riot of texture with garlic horseradish aioli, marinated camembert cheese, crispy smoked shoestring onions, and red wine cranberry jam - definitely one if you like camembert.
Moving on we absolutely loved the Gramado Burger from Brazil which heaped a crispy, chewy mozzarella fritter on top of a 7oz steak burger with whiskey bacon jam - what's not to like?
The intriguing Kathmandu Burger from Nepal came with two smashed patties, sweet chili mayo, melty provolone cheese, caramelized onions, avocado, and crunchy slaw and was a well balanced mix of textures and flavours.
But our absolute fave was the Pittsburgh Burger from the USA; two smashed and stacked patties, crispy smoked bacon, something called legendary sauce, pickles, beer cheese sauce, whiskey bacon jam, American cheese and a jenga stack of French fries inside the bun.
It was the ultimate burger experience, salty, sweet toppings with caramelised meat and oozing cheese.
Perhaps it's not surprise then that the indulgent Pittsburgh Burger came out top in the competition and is now permanently on the menu.
A note too on Hard Rock Cafe's fries, they are next level, crispy exterior, soft fluffy interior, a must try.
Desserts seemed an impossible task but we plumped for a huge bowl of wholly unnecessary warm brownie with vanilla ice cream, cream and chocolate sauce.
Unable to finish it we boxed it up to take home.
This reliable central London spot with it unique, upbeat atmosphere serving everything from loaded nachos to sticky sides of ribs and steaks is a winner to bring teens or share a family meal where everyone will go home satisfied.
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