Comedian: 'After doing stand-up, I can rate Starmer's heckle put-downs'

It’s the one time of the year that politicians head off to a town or city and everywhere else in the UK gets that little bit better. You know your odds of bumping into someone who wants to bend your ear for their own ends is slimmer.

The Conservatives have made their way to Manchester. We saw pictures of the prime minister taking his eco-friendly train to the event. Seeing as he once flew the 250 miles to Cornwall to talk about climate change, his advisors probably booked his train ticket.

It’s still notable that he didn’t travel by Crossrail because it’s not ready yet.

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The Labour Party was a week earlier. Sir Keir Starmer gave his speech but was heckled. I may not know much about politics but with nearly two decades of experience as a stand-up comedian, I know exactly what it is like to be heckled.

The difference is, when I get heckled, I am telling jokes to a room of strangers. They’re not meant to be literally on my team. No wonder Starmer wants to change some of the rules if they’re letting hen nights in.

Keir had some good comebacks. After one interjection, he said: “At this time on a Wednesday, it’s normally the Tories who are heckling me. Doesn’t bother me then. Won’t bother me now.”

That’s not a bad heckle put down. It’s not as mean as the classic: “Do I come to where you work and knock the broom/milkshake/etc out of your hand?”

Keir couldn’t use that one as it’s hardly respecting the working family.

I don’t think I could use his line about the Tories normally being the ones heckling me. Not unless a new episode of Late Night Mash is going out and they’ve found me on Twitter.